Good news!
I met up with my crush today (I was wearing a ski mask) at the sewer treatment centre (seemed the most suitable place) I apologised and she laughed it off, especially with my jokes like “you got shat on like a shit shotgun”
We are now going out, however I told her I’m fleeing to North Carolina (@oren’s state, he said it’s good) and now she is coming with me! What a result, and I’m sure I will now live happily ever after!
comments
Flee to Australia pls
This is a joke
how is she still your crush
you are fleeing and shes coming with you, and shes still only your crush?
it’s a joke
So glad for you! Can't believe how quickly you were able to fly to the US…
never mind, this shit is totally an owenathletic post
WHAT? THIS IS A HORRIBLE SITUATION FOR ME! We are now crossing over Florida btw, fuck airplane mode!
I knew you would succeed!
Never in doubt 
I didn’t expect you to actually be fleeing to North Carolina-
Gotta do what you’ve gotta do!
ig that’s true, but I’m glad it seems to be going better (at least, better than it could’ve gone 
)
I’m happy as can be on the plane now, not putting it on airplane mode since I’m a rebel
why do I feel all of this is satire
Who knows? Getting on the plane now with my girlfriend, new adventure on the way
This is more true than the earth being flat
lkdjsfalsbccccccCkwj
this is a joke 
No? Who said that?
you said “This is more true than the earth being flat”
What? The earth is flat. If it’s round then why don’t you fall off the curve?
what a wonderful turn of events!
Indeed!