thank you for the comments i appreciate them 
my next goal is to actually get irl friends but im cooked for a bunch of reasons:
i only have like two interests which not many people i know care about
i barely know how to talk to people and im scared of doing that
i hate people my age and avoid them in public
everyone in my school already has friends and none of them really want to be around me
im scared to join clubs and there wouldnt be any i enjoy anyway
im scared to try new things
i havent had any real friends since 2020
ive already lost all my friends twice in my life
comments
cant though as i dont go out often, im scared of people, and i try to avoid them. also people in my school dont approach me and they already have friends so i cant approach them as they’re always with their friends
don’t you do anything other than school?
legit the only thing i do outside of school is a gaelic conversation group every two weeks but everyone there is a lot older than me anyway
there’s probably a reason for that lol