@pakalu_papito

don't u hate it when u offer help and the other person says yes

I have abs.............................olutely nothing

most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral

r u a software update bc not now

single by choice

just not my choice

enters ugly contest

judge: sorry, no professionals

Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason

when i die i want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his taxi

that awkward moment between birth and death

if robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd just laugh and search with them

don't worry password, im insecure too

I live for two reasons.

1. I was born.

2. I haven't died yet.

i would lose weight but i hate losing

why get thinner when u can get more dinner

if i swallow magnets will i become attractive