@sivyx

i must make an amendment:

@lily is really bad

thank you

this might seem odd to you, but a lot of things exist.

if you’d like an example (I know people love sources nowadays), look at your hands.

they are real, physical things, no?

you can move them, feel them, touch them, break them.

go ahead, take a hammer, and break a finger.

now explain to me why you didn’t listen.

because another thing exists: your sense of self-preservation.

the words you’re reading, on this screen.

they make sense because another thing exists: your brain.

if your brain didn’t exist, neither would you.

@theglasspenguin

what if god’s just a real funny guy

damn yall young

why?

@jeffalo @daily_swear was your 420th follower

@jeffalo I much prefer the typewriter font on the beta. Ever though of adding an option to switch between the two?

Gum is too sweet. I’d rather have more spearmint and less sugar. How it feels to chew 5 gum? Diabetes.

#DontVerifySivyx

please dont verify me, this would be a terrible turn of events and i would bring nothing but sadness upon the entire community. i must stop the event before it happens, i must alert the community before its end. don’t verify me.

what do you expect when you see a sivyx essay? personally, i don’t have a criteria or ideas behind any of them, and I just start writing whenever i’m bored. usually it ends up being a commentary about something, subtle or not, but each time the reception is different. you see, writing an essay isn’t about wit as much as it is about time. all you need is the time to write it, and though general wits may be helpful (for example, it takes me about 5 minutes to write something like the Falling Off essay) they really aren’t that important.

let’s take something in as an example. when writing an essay for school, it’s important to put the time into it and to make sure that what you’re writing fits the topic, and that your sources (if required) are relevant and trustworthy. but when writing an essay for a social media website, none of that is as prevalent. all you need for a successful essay in the form of this one is a vast vocabulary and some ability to hide your commentary on something in particular.

for example, my Falling Off essay was written on a whim, in about 5 minutes. perhaps it may take you longer to write something of that factor, but that’s not important. the essay didn’t tell you what it was about right away, no, it waited. it waited until the very end for me to express my thoughts in a meaningful and impactful way, while still throwing in comedy where it could be done. that’s really all you need to be able to do.

you also need a good amount of judgement. sometimes your essay wont be quite up to par, and at that point you can either make the hard decision to throw it away, or you can fix it. fixing it is usually my choice, for example, with my essay for @ee. the comedic parts that I implemented after the first paragraph were not my first idea, however after realizing i’d gone too formal after the first few sentences, i ran with it and continued.

no, you don’t need wits, you just need creativity. if you dont have that, then use this: http://watchout4snakes.com/Random/RandomParagraph

no, it wont make sense, but it will be funny. and sometimes that’s all you need.

wow! i think racists are so cool and I support your choice.

oh! is this a commission? here, let me try.

True logic in this sense would initiate such a person to think in hindsight, and for said person to also see what they’ve done wrong. Following such logic, you can easily come to conclusions about what was clearly done incorrectly. May it be ignorance, may it be trust, of which it is is irrelevant. I must now conclude that what I have done was not completely thought through, nor moderated in the sense that it should’ve been.

how’s that? oh, too much? ill go casual.

Yo, sup y’all. Thinkin’ I may’ve made a bit of a mistake back there when settin’ up that anonymous postin’ nonsense. Now thinkin’ in hindsigh’, I must admit it could’ve been accomplished much betta. Just a few more lines o’ code ‘ere and there woulda done it fo’ sho’.

what do you mean that’s too much also? fine, ill try in between, then will you be happy, goldilocks?

Hey. I think I could’ve done a little more when setting up the anonymous posting stuff. In hindsight, I think I tend to trust the people a little too much and maybe I should’ve thought it through a little better at the time. You really never know what people will do these days.

no, that’s bad too. i just can’t seem to get it right, go too much that way, too much this way, over and over and over… well. maybe I could try something more. yes, yes this will work:

A cow dishes the ready assistant. This grateful problem bends my grandmother after the detectable crew. The estate interferes with the boss! Will the cuckoo rot below the filthy news? The sword follows his club.

there! that should work. you’re welcome.

whoever posted this is a genius. what? no, it wasn’t me. only non-geniuses call themselves a genius. confidence killed the cat, of course.

wait, it’s curiosity isn’t it? well who did confidence kill then? curiosity already got it’s murder, and confidence is definitely not innocent. i know, how about confidence killed the cucumber? yes, i believe that will work.

here we are. the pinnicle of comedy. the simple wittiness and creative freedom this post provides is insanely invoking of feelings that no man can explain, and as the walls of greatness come closing in, we can reflect, for a single instant, just how wonderful this post is.

let’s start with the beginning. this absolutely astonishing post begins with the amazing ping. a ping is a tool, used only by the greats, to mention those who they are talking to. in this case, they have pinged me, which in all cases is even more comedic.

now the middle. maybe you thought the beginning was good, you’re in for a treat. ‘could you write an essay for me’. think about that inviting statement for just a moment. it makes you think, doesn’t it? could I, could I really write an essay for someone of such comedic greatness? did this hilarious god truly invite me to write them words on a screen? gladly, gladly i will as i am right now, as it fills my heart with joy to fulfill the requirements of such a comedic figure.

finally, the end. ‘you seem good at it’. oh the hilarity! do i really seem good at writing such essays? such implementations of one’s self, and the true nature of life and all it’s meanings? am i maybe, just truly the messenger for the one and true deity, the one that we all must follow, as our savior, as the only true one who really knows the meaning of falling off?

no. no, i am no messenger. i am nothing. this post is a joke. i don’t seem good at anything.

well. goodbye now. i hope you had fun reading.

you know, all this talk about falling off has really got me thinking. what even is falling off? most people would agree that you can refer to a person as fallen off once they have either begun to produce content of lower quality, or have stopped producing content altogether. but the phrase ‘fallen off’ has seem to have met a similar fate as ‘cope’, ‘cool’, or even ‘ratio’.

‘how?’ you may ask. it’s simple. all of these terms are dreadfully overused in an online space, with no regard to their original meanings or ideas. some are less severe than others, for sure, but it is still a blatant disregard for the word’s well-being.

for example, people like to say that games, such as minecraft, have fallen off. but such is true only to an extent. and that extent is only visible from a clouded point of view. if you really think about it, the sphere of a game like minecraft is just so large that no one person could ever truly know if it has ‘fallen off’, because in order to deem something of such a title you must understand how the greater community has taken the content in.

perhaps you like to use a term like this more lightly. maybe you only use it when something has simply stopped producing content up to your liking, and you couldn’t care less about the community’s point of view. in this case, you may end up falling into a hole of endless ignorance, as you begin to use certain things to your own benefit that truly only bring your demise closer.

so again i ask, what is ‘falling off’? and truly, do you know who I was talking about yesterday? i don’t think you do. and i now don’t think anyone does. the only way to really know if a person has fallen off is to understand the ideas of this person in all spheres of this person or thing’s publicity. let’s take the idea of wasteof falling off as an example.

wasteof still gets a healthy amount of posts daily, has functioning bots, and plenty is going on in development with accounts like @jeffalo and @beta sharing information about the next release of wasteof. however, some may feel, at least at certain times, that it is yet to meet their expectations. this idea of ‘falling off’ is the primary fear of development in general.

jeffalo, just like many others, has created a service that many use on a day-to-day basis. such a platform falling off in a single day is unlikely, but if the more popular people begin to slow down their use of it, then the smaller people will begin to fall away from it as well.

that’s all a social platform is. it’s like a stack of jenga blocks, and if you take out the wrong one, it’s all over. outside forces can affect these jenga blocks as well. for example, a stray gust of air could knock over the hours of work put into this game of jenga, and now you must start again from the ground up.

sometimes, that gust of air only knocks down a few blocks, and despite that still being a setback, it is much easier to recover from. this can be shown in even some of the biggest social platforms in the world. discord, for example, released their rebrand back in May of 2021. people didn’t like this change so much, and so they began to blow air at the stack of jenga blocks that made up Discord, until a few of them began to fall.

unlike some other companies, however, discord didn’t fall down, they simply rebuilt until the blowers stopped blowing, and people stopped caring. nowadays you rarely hear complaints.

so all falling off really is, is the pressure of outside forces trying to make a single thing fall down. nothing has ever fallen down on it’s own.

so now, if your parents ask what you’ve learned today, you can say that you learned the psychology of ‘falling off’ with an effective metaphor of jenga blocks. you’re welcome.