OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE FROM THE CRACK HOUSE

As part of our manifesto, I planned to do many things to keep our nation silly. And I’m keeping them, here’s some progress.

Our 12th point in the manifesto was to “Triple cheese production quotas and fill every easily accessible cave system in the continental United States with cheese. Finish what Missouri started!”. And we are doing this with at a rapid, not just have we reached our triple cheese production quota goal, we’re already filling up our cave systems with it!

Another manifesto point we made was point 17; “Replace the Senate with a 24/7 all you can eat buffet” and I am happy to report that the senate is now a 24/7 all you can eat buffet. Filled to the brim with excellent cuisine, the Senate Stuff-Your-Face Buffet is our nation’s latest and greatest in all things food, yummy!

We’ll continue to fulfil our campaign promises to ensure the silliness of our nation is preserved.

PRESS RELEASE ENDS