wasteof.money

way back when i was just a little bitty boy livin in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from jerry’s bait shop

Dec 7, 2024, 3:37 AM

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@noodle Dec 12, 2024, 7:56 PM

so anyway he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel and im like

“hey you cant have that

that snorkel’s been just like a snorkel to me“

and he’s like “tough“

and i’m like “give it“

and he’s like “make me“

and i’m like “‘kay“

@kiwi Dec 12, 2024, 9:36 PM

so i grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus and i bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows and i took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation

yes indeed, you better believe it

@noodle Dec 12, 2024, 10:51 PM

inhale

and somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook

and 20 seconds later i heard a familiar voice

@kiwi Dec 12, 2024, 10:54 PM

and you know what it said?

i'll tell you what it said

@noodle Dec 12, 2024, 11:00 PM

it said

IF YOUD LIKE TO MAKE A CALL

PLEASE HANG UP AND TRY AGAIN