salad @salad

way back when i was just a little bitty boy livin in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from jerry’s bait shop

Dec 7, 2024, 3:37 AM
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i said you got any apple fritters

he said NAH we’re out of apple fritters

i said YOU GOT ANY BEAR CLAWS??!?!?

he said… wait a minute, i’ll go check

epic guitar solo

NO WERE OUT OF BEAR CLAWS

i said "well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?"

he says "all i got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"

i said "ok, i'll take that"

so he hands me the box and i open up the lid and the weasels jump out and they start biting me all over

oh man, they were just going nuts, they were tearin' me apart…

you know i think it was just about that time that a little ditty started going through my head

i believe it went a little something like this

D̶̡̢͙͕̣͕͉͚̦̳̺͙̻͙̼̫̄͋̈́́̍̑́̈́͋ͅO̷̡̨̞͓̠̥͖̓̏͛̉̓̔͗͌͘͝H̵̹̼̜͇̹͓͍͕̝̻̮̩̗͉̥͍̖͎͙̘̾͒̋̽̎̊͋̂̾͊̅̉̏͜ͅ ̸̡̢͙̱̭̤̹̘̗͇̻̼͚͚̤͚̈́̑́͊̒̑͌̇͐́͛̿͊͂̕͘͜ͅĢ̵̖̳͖͍͇̮̀̑̆̈͋͆͛̀͑̎̂̿̋͊̎̽̀̚͝E̷͎̯̹̪̘̯̺̱͈͐͛̀͒̓̓̑͜͝Ṱ̸̨̧̙͓̗̭͇̩̦͚̭̪̈́̀̔̆͂̇̓̿̀̚͝ͅ ̸̨̺̠̠̤͈̫̪̭͚̯̬̩̜͍͔͕̗̹͍̖̩̻̑Ę̵̟̹̮̻̮̺̮͍͈̤͓̝̺̟̾̿̓̾̎̊͊̕͜M̶̨̨̟͇̮͈̰͍̭̬̮̺̹̈́̆͑̒̀͋͛̂̚ͅ ̵̛̲̄͊̄̓̃͌̿̍̅͑͑̓̉͗̋̚͠O̶̱̭̩͖̥̥̐̕F̷̧̢̛̰͖͍̬̠̘̣̬͔̰̟̳̮͔̻̳̬͖̫̠̑̊̓͋̔̂̋̊͆̏́̍̈̊̈̈́̂̌̇̈́͜F̵̡̧̨͎̺̙̫̜̜͇͚̟̣̲̘͔͖͎̜̂̄̀̎̄̐̍̆̉̎̉̊̉̃̑̕̕͜ ̶̩̦̆M̶̜̟͖̰̔̓́Ę̷͚͖̺̻͉͍̼̺̜̲͈͔̀̒͊̄͑͋̅̽̿̅͊͛̎̂͘̚͝͝ ̷̙̠͓̃͂̔̂̊̈́́͐̇́̆͑́͊G̴̢̰̦̬̞̹̩̝̤̱̹̥̲̰̞̣̖̙̳̓͋͗̈́͑̈́́̆͜͠͝Ë̵̡̨̝̖̙́͛̈́͋͆̏̓T̸̨͇̞͇͎͍̎͊ ̵̺̣͉̤͕̙͍̻̜̖͉͓̯̳̑͗̏̆͗͊͘͜ͅḚ̶̛̭̞̮̩͎̞͔͗̈́͐̎̆̐̃̒̆̒̓̕͝Ḿ̵̱̗̤͍̫̯͈̜̜̝̹͌̑̀̏̎̒̍̑͊̾͆̉͘͠ ̶̨̨̰͖̞̲̥̭̪̳͉̜͙̈́̑̈̈́̓̊͗̈́̂̐̅̍͛͂̌͌̀̀̓̕̕̚͝Ǫ̸̤͍͈̜͕̼͔̘̞̜̥͙͓͕̣̗͐̌̚F̸̡̛̭̥̞͓̤͚̗͙͓̪͉̥͖͂̐̈́̓̋̋̆͐̑̌̊͝F̴̡̨̼̫̹̹̰͎̥̹̍͐̍̏̆͜͝ ̵̜̹͔̹̤̟̳͓̳̙̲̱͈͍̻̲͍͓͙̰́̉͐̀̓͌͜ͅM̶͙̪̝͓͌͛̈́̽̄̉̐̎͋̑̓͛̒́͒̆̆͜͝Ë̵̺͖̥́͗̂̓̌̊͌̊̇͑͒̑̒͂̒͒͑͛͗͒̚ ̶̨̢̟̹͓̠͚̘̮͙̖̮͍̜̤̙͚̣̈́̔̉̀̓͗O̶͓̊̒̊͌͌͑̿͋̊̒͆̃̎͝Ḫ̴̨̧̺̠̫̯͓̤̖̻͓̦͇̐̅̄̑̋͜͜͜ ̵̲͈̤̹͖̪͎̯͍̮̙̓̔̓̃́̾͐̈̄̀͑̐͒̓̋̓̿̕̕͝N̸̟̯̰̯͍͚͒͐̔Ỏ̷̙̥̦̪͕̯̜͈̔͐̆̃̈̅̊̊̈́̀͘͠ ̷̢̢͔̻͎̦͚̼̬̻̼̬̪͕̞̟͇͔̅͑̋̽̀̊͗̈́̂̋̏̕͘͜͝͝G̵̠̘̜͍̯̰̪̱̭͍̣̼̜̟̙̜̻͕͔̐͑͆̓̀̇̐̀͗͋͌̆̕̕͜Ḙ̴̢̧̮̦̖̯̥̣̱͍̟̐́͒̈̊̍͝ͅT̶̨̨̡̛̼͖̹͈̦̥̘̜̗̤̣̫͔̹̞̭̠̍͋̽͂̈̆̑̓́͐̈͌̎̋́͆̊͠ ̸̖͔͎̱͚̬̙̹̳̚Ę̵̳͎͔͓̪͖͖͚̤̖̠͓͓̀͐̆̎͜͝ͅM̷̧̡̨͈̥̭̣̞̙̱̙̗̤̻̝̉ ̸̨̨̫̣̜͖͉͚̟͙͇̩̮͕̺̳̿̈́̈́̿̈́̉́̇̂̋̄͜ͅO̵̫̗͕͋̿̓͝F̷̠̩͈̗͊̏͐͊̀̿̏͑̂F̴̧̧̺̺͎̱̩̞̯̫͎̥͕̘͎̬͓͙̬̠̩̳̾̐̅̅̽̔̌̀̾̔͠͠ ̸̧̢̼̠̫͈̹̱̝̫̫̳̯̠͒͒̓̈́̒̎̇̿͊͜M̵̟͇͓̐̑̌͜E̴̻̮̿̾̿̎̍͆̚͝ ̸̢̫͈͈̖̼̘̝̠͍̼͔͍̀̏̀̄̉͆Ḁ̴̜̻͑͌̈́̾́̎̓̾͊̽̃͆̑̈H̴̢̢̭̜̝͓̫̩͎̫̜̺̥̰̃͛̐̏͒̽̌̾̀͑̿̉̈́̔̓̚͠͝ ̷͍̲̠̯̠̰̭͓̝͚̤̯͈̆̌́̓̋̍̅͌̈́̒̕͝͝͝Â̵̛̙͑̈́̊̓̚H̴̨͍̱͔̗͔̱̪̥̄̃̾̋̚Ḩ̵̡̢̫̥͔̫̰̙̜̟̥̰̦̼̖̭̠͍̓͂̐̈́̑̆̐̈́̾̐͋̅̍̋͑̕̕͜͝͠ͅͅ ̶̨͇̠͔̗̝̬͇͎̭̯̫̣̭͕͎͍̱̠̀̆͋̍̑̓̇̐́͛̿̈́̒̂͌͠Ǎ̷̛̗̼̤̤̙͔̣̞̖͔̩͕̠̥̠̳͚̙̟̞͚̑̔̀̂́̽̇͛͆̄͛̌̎̏̋̄͒̀͊̕͜͜H̸̛̆̍̎̕̚

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