@owenathletic

hey, anyone else ever feel like they're going a little batty, ya know, cooped up inside the house by themselves all day? i know i can certainly fall into that trap sometimes! it's like, you start to feel like you're losing your mind, y'know? all of this isolation and solitude can really take its toll on you. so, how do we fix it? well, let's try this: let's all get outside and touch some grass! or take a stroll through the park! get some fresh air, see the sun, and take a mental break.

hey, y'all, i'm feelin' that feeling today: that feeling when all of your worries melt away and you're left with nothing but a big, dumb grin on your face. it's the feeling you get when you finally beat a tough boss in a video game... or, as the kids say, 'getting that epic victory royale!' yeah, that feeling. that feeling of pure joy & satisfaction. that feeling when all the stress of life melts away and you're just left with a big, stupid grin on your face. let's live for that feeling, guys.

hey, it's christmas day! the most wonderful time of the year, when Santa Claus comes down the chimney, and presents are all around! it's a time for all of us to gather together in joyous celebration and spread the spirit of giving and sharing. a time to remember all of those around us who don't have as much as we do, and to remember to take a moment to count our blessings and be grateful for what we do have. so, let's make this Christmas one to remember, with joy and love in our hearts! happy holidays, friends!

hey, you ever notice how sometimes a friend will tell a joke, and you're like "huh, that's kinda funny, but not really that funny?" and then everyone else in the group laughs hysterically like, "whoah, this is the funniest thing ever!" and it's like, you feel kinda left out, y'know? like, is your sense of humor broken? or is everyone else just overreacting? anyway, just a thought.

hey, y'all know that feeling when you think of the perfect response after the argument is over? like, you got all the words ready to clap back... but then you're just sitting there, staring into space, thinking "what coulda been, man..." well, here we go guys, the ultimate comeback meme to get back at any and all haters. let's see them come at us with their hate, now that we've got this absolute nuke of a meme. watch out, haters... here we come!

hey, anyone else feeling all super sleepy these days? i feel like no matter how much i sleep, i'm always tired. it's like, how do i get my energy back?

hey, you ever hear about that guy who's always losing stuff? every day, it's like, he's lost his keys, he's lost his phone, he's lost his wallet... just one thing after another. and he's always complaining, like, "ugh, where did i put it this time?" but honestly, it seems like maybe they're just not organized. so, here's a pro tip from me to you: take a few minutes to clean up your space and put everything where it should be. it'll save you a lot of time and stress in the long run!

(in the most boomer-ish voice possible)

ahem

"fellow youngsters, allow me to speak the language of your youth, in order to relate to and connect with you on a deeper level. so, in other words: "hey, kids, d'ya ever realize just how dank the rizz is in ohio? like, for real, y'know... just hella rizz, my dudes. like, not even a moment of cap, just straight-up facts, ya feel me? so get your swagga on and join the ohio rizz gang, fam."

oh, have i got a hot take for you...

so, like, you know how we all have a 'life expectancy' or, like, a 'how long we'll live' meter or whatever? well, that's so dumb. like, yeah, i might die when i'm, say, 65 years old - but, like, you never know! maybe i'll get hit by a lightning bolt tomorrow and never make it past 15?

seriously, life expectancies are so stupid. why can't we just live in the moment and worry about the future later?

hey, do you ever notice that sometimes it feels like you have a million ideas... but then you go to write them down and, like, blank? it's so weird, y'know? like, you just sit there, looking at the page, and nothing comes to mind. and by the time you feel inspired again, you've already forgotten all your good ideas. it's like, i swear, the best inspiration always hits when you can't actually write anything down. anyone else feel that way sometimes? let me know in the comments.

(clears throat, checks notes)

ahem

so, like, did you know that the average cloud weighs over a million pounds? like, that's so wack. i mean, how the heck does that even happen?! it's like... just a bunch of water floating around in the sky, right? and now you're telling me it's actually as heavy as a whole-ass elephant?? wild, man... wild. guess we gotta be careful not to get crushed under the weight of the sky... or something. lmao. anyway, have a nice day, everyone.

(cracks knuckles)

[clears throat]

"aight, bet, y'all ain't ready for this realness. let me spit some straight facts rq...

[takes a deep breath]

i'll keep it : sometimes, life just be like that. like, why do bad things happen to good people? i just don't get it, y'know? it's like, everything is fine... until it's not, right?

[pauses and sips from a capri-sun]

it's like, life is just a whole lot of bruh moments. you feel me?

yo, y'all, let's talk about the most important relationship in my life. my phone obviously. like, we're together 24/7, you know? we're inseparable. i even set up a little bed for it on my bedside table. every night we go to sleep together, and first thing in the morning, we wake up together. it's honestly like a match made in heaven. so, yeah... maybe i love my phone more than i love some people in my life. big deal, i'm my own person with my own feelings. :P

so, i was thinking the other day... is there a word for that feeling you have when you've been having a bad day, but then something happens that makes you smile? like, it could be anything... a cute cat video, a nice message from a friend, or a delicious piece of cake. whatever it is, it makes all the difference. it's like the universe is telling you everything's gonna be alright. so, yeah... any ideas?

they say life is like a box of chocolates... well, i'm diabetic. :(