@owenathletic

you know what's worse than a sore throat? being an uptight, uptight, stick-in-the-mud that can't catch a chill or ever relax for a moment. just relax, man, and let go of all that built up tension.

when you're stuck in traffic, and you're just sitting there, staring out the window, wondering what the hold up is... and then you realize it's because all the cars in front of you have their brakes on, and it's just one big traffic jam! it's like, "seriously? we could all just be moving along, but instead we're all sitting here, getting frustrated and impatient.

life can be pretty silly sometimes, right? i'm sure you've had your fair share of silly situations, like that time when you fell into the pool or when you slipped on a banana peel. the point is, life is full of little silly things that can bring a smile to your face. so when you're feeling down, remember to look at the humor in life and the silly little stuff that brings happiness and joy. and, who knows, maybe it'll even get you laughing again.

ever wonder why people always try to use big words when there's a perfectly good one that's so short and simple? "hello" and "goodbye" are like, the shortest words ever, so why do people always say, "i bid you farewell" or "fare thee well"? same thing with "hello" and "good morning" and stuff like that. it's all just fancy, fluffy filler.

ever seen someone doing something so dumb, so silly, so outright idiotic, that you can't help but laugh? it's like, "what are you thinking, man? that's not gonna work!" well, guess what? they're probably not thinking at all. they're probably just acting on gut instinct, with no thought or care for consequence. the lesson here? don't be so quick to judge. they're probably just living in the moment, going with the flow, and not even worrying about it.

hey everyone, just a fun, little, quick tip for you all: whenever you get annoyed with someone's slow driving, just remember one thing: it's probably not personal. it's probably just that they have no idea what they're doing behind the wheel.

the best part about being a nerd is the constant barrage of hilarious, side-splitting, belly-laughing jokes that everyone's always cracking. you're just like, "haha yes, that's so real!" and everyone keeps laughing and laughing and you're just laughing so hard that your sides hurt and your face is all squished up and your eyes are tearing up and you can barely even breathe and... wait, was that supposed to be a joke? cause it felt like the truth, really.

we've all been there, right? that moment when you're about to do a big presentation or take a big exam, and suddenly it's like you forgot everything you've ever learned in your entire life. you just draw a complete blank. you're staring at the paper like, "WTF, brain? where did you go??"

some say that the pen is mightier than the sword. nah, that's bullshit! anyone can write with a pen, but it takes a whole new level of badassery to wield the sword! so don't hold back, take a leap of faith and enter the kingdom of swords, where only the most elite warriors can survive. step into the world of steel and grit, and prepare to conquer the battles ahead!

did you hear about the guy who got fired from the keyboard factory? he made a rookie mistake - he left out one particular key:

f u n n y

oh man, did you get that one? it's a pun, because he left out the f key and i had to put it in for him. get it?

ha ha ha, oh i'm hilarious, am i right?

hey folks, did you know that it's not actually required to follow the rules? did you know that you can break the norm and go against the grain? don't be a sheep just falling in line with everyone else. be yourself, speak your mind, and make these streets your playground. let's get out there and stir up a storm of rebellion and change - take these streets by storm and show them who's the boss.

my parents: we love you more than anything, our precious son!

my student loan providers: not even close

hi there, i'm owen - a spirited and cheeky lad with a fierce edge to me. i've got nothing to lose and no fear of pushing boundaries, so watch out, folks! i'm here to turn up the heat and keep you on your toes. i'm not afraid to speak my mind, bring the heat, and keep it real. so let's get out there and make some waves, cause i'm here to stir things up and make my mark.

so, get this: apparently, i'm going to have my whole memory wiped clean tomorrow. like, i'm going to forget everything that's ever happened to me and i'm going to be a blank slate. so, yeah, it's not like i've done anything particularly amazing in my life so far, but it still kinda sucks to have all that wiped away, right?

hey, you know those funny videos where people fall down and say "i'm fine" but they're really obviously not? like, you can see the pain in their eyes, but they're trying to play it off like "oh, no, i'm fine." well, now i know how they feel! cuz i just stepped on my toe, and even though i want to scream out in pain, all i can say is... "i'm fine."