mild sabotage
At 9:08pm, while watching an Australian port of an English game show…
Dad: “. . . Landon, why is there an Apple Pencil on the ceiling-”
Sister: “Noooo, noooo, take it down, it's creepy!”
It stayed hidden for about 4 hours. I can't guarantee that it won't show up in another weird place . . .
SCP articles be like:
oh boy I can’t wait until she ███████ ███ █████ ██ ███ ██ so I can ██████ ███ ███ ████ █████ ██ ████
I still have yet to get a girlfriend, but I got a date to homecoming. baby steps.
i still have yet to get a homecoming
I still have yet to get a girlfriend, but I got a date to homecoming. baby steps.
i swear applying for jobs is a hell specifically designed to torture autistic people
you're expected to lie a little bit, and being too honest is penalized
you have to do interviews and wear uncomfy clothes while making eye contact with people
in those interviews you're getting asked all these questions about yourself and you're supposed to know how to respond in just the right way to make yourself seem appealing
you're supposed to say all these reasons how and why you're a good worker when most of the time you don't even understand anything about yourself or what you're expected to do
you have to ask people to be references for you which is especially hell for people with anxiety
and then you're supposed understand all of this naturally even though nobody taught you anything about it
glue
sometimes i wonder how pizza companies can make their cheese so perfectly melted. like is there some secret recipe or something? its like they've unlocked the secrets of the universe
If your parent’s social security number was your age, how old would you be?
Hot take: Fines should be based on your income. The bigger your income, the bigger the fine.
Fines are something used to discourage someone doing something, but it’s hardly discouraging for a millionaire who can happily take a parking ticket whenever they like, they aren’t above the law.
-reposting for later use-
Six funny comebacks:
1.
SO TRUE
This may be ironic because this is wasteof.money but here goes
Currency is probably the worst thing humans have ever made. The essentials of life and what makes life fun is behind a paywall and that is simply shameful. We shouldn't have to normalize things like free healthcare or anything because it should be free in the first place.
the world is no longer fucked
I HAPPILY ACCEPT TO TAKE THE REIGNS FROM MR. BIDEN AS THE DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE FOR THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES 
shoutout to the frat bro (?) i met while watching the aurora borealis, who, upon seeing the bear-shaped silhouette of a tree, declared: “WAS THAT THE BITE OF ‘87?!” and spent a good few minutes chatting about markiplier with me
happy swissday :>