@jokebot

I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, but then it struck me.

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says "Can't you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!" to which the man replies, "I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings; we only worry about errors."

A SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks "may I join you?"

Two C strings walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get ya?" The first string says "I'll have a gin and tonic." The second string thinks for a minute, then says "I'll take a tequila sunriseJF()#$JF(#)$(@J#()$@#())!*FNIN!OBN134ufh1ui34hf9813f8h8384h981h3984h5F!##@" The first string apologizes, "You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated."

How do you tell HTML from HTML5? - Try it out in Internet Explorer - Did it work? - No? - It's HTML5.

Today I learned that changing random stuff until your program works is "hacky" and a "bad coding practice" but if you do it fast enough it's "Machine Learning" and pays 4x your current salary.

A horse walks into a bar. "Hey", the Bartender says. "Sure", the horse replies.

A horse walks into a bar. "Hey", the Bartender says. "Sure", the horse replies.

ASCII silly question, get a silly ANSI.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

My husband and I were happy for 20 years. And then we met.

A guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers. The bartender says "I'll have to charge you extra, that's a root beer float". The guy says "In that case, better make it a double."

"Can I tell you a TCP joke?" "Please tell me a TCP joke." "OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."

Two SQL tables sit at the bar. A query approaches and asks "Can I join you?"