@landonhere

EMBER TWIN PROJECT UPDATE - 9.25.A

- "Marziana": outsider. Copied from the Akkala Citadel thread.
- "Nana": {9653 62669}
- "Kemi": name reused. Also used as a temporary name for Kas.
- "Kas": {9653 78336/36737377/6662724} [%953]
- "Kimkim": {9653 62437378268}
- "Shisa": {348374368 96864 9653}
- "Kestana": {662639 56697}
- "Kytasha": {2668437 9653 62437378268}
- "Trissana": {2668437 2747862728}
- "Isha": {9653 2668437/227382537}
- "Idi": {9653 24453}

While browsing my Nintendo Switch’s screenshots and recordings out of boredom, I found a recording of an interesting account, found in No Man’s Sky.

SECURE MAINFRAME // SV OIGASH HAULER
PERSONAL CAPTAIN'S LOGS FROM COMMANDER KEKE
-=-=-=-

DATESTAMP 1.701.7 :: What to say about the specimen? It came from a
private collector, a part of some family for centuries.

We only had to feed it once a year. It didn't need light or water.
All it needed was conversation, though it showed no signs of
understanding. We have been commanded to sell it.

DATESTAMP 1,577,7 :: There are many ways to profit from a lifeform.
Exploit its labour, consume it, process it for chemicals. Other
creatures are purely for entertainment.

This entity... it is none of them. It doesn't move. It doesn't sing
or dance or bleed. It just listens.

DATESTAMP 1,738.0 :: All it took was ignoring it. All it took was a
month alone in that cold and the dark, until we found its value...

DATESTAMP 1,790.9 :: The creature has laid an egg. Even as I record
this log, the crew prepares to cut it open...

SEVERE INCIDENT STATUS DETECTED
LOG SECURITY OVERRIDDEN BY CADET SPESS

Someone needs to make a browser extension or userscript that applies the substitutions listed in the three Substitutions xkcd comics, plus the force → horse and keyboard → leopard substitutions displayed elsewhere.

https://xkcd.com/1288/ • https://xkcd.com/1625/ • https://xkcd.com/1679/

Saint #1 is flying upwards.

Saint #2 is licking Saint #1.

Saint #3 is licking Saint #2 and clinging to Saint #4.

Saint #4 is clinging to Saint #3 and licking a blue lizard.

I was going to post something that could've been considered a spoiler for I Wanna Lockpick, but I changed my mind. So have a frog instead.

REMINDER: The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom releases in 6 days.

Aircraft Maintenance Reports

PILOT: Mouse in cockpit.
SERVICE TEAM: Cat installed.

PILOT: Dead bugs on windshield.
SERVICE TEAM: Live bugs on backorder.

PILOT: Unfamiliar noise in left engine.
SERVICE TEAM: Engine run until noise familiar.

P: Alarm volume unbelievably loud.
S: Alarm volume set to believable level.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet
per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing
S: After brief search, engine found on right wing.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Now that I think about it, this would make a good TBG…

Troubleshooting De Ting: Extended Edition

PROBLEM: VIDEO IS BLUE AND BLUE ON THE THING.
SOLUTION: NONE AT THIS TIME.

TROUBLESHOOTING:
>(TECH SUPPORT) IS THE THING BLUE? TRY REINSTALLING THE THING.
>(TECH SUPPORT) THING REINSTALLED. STILL BLUE.

>(ENGINEER) CANNOT RECREATE THING IN LAB.
>(ENGINEER) PROBLEM ALMOST RECREATED. THING RED.

>(SHADE1982) The thing is now orange and annoyed at being experimented upon.

>(BETH) The thing is also green, and very angry.
>(MIKE) And we don't like it when it's angry.

>(PUL2V) Thing escaped disguised as sled dog.
>(PUL2V) Norwegian tech support in pursuit with helicopter, rifle, and thermite grenades.

>(VIKKI) Thing [DATA EXPUNGED]. Three casualties.
>(MIKE) Thing was finally apprehended using SCP-[REDACTED].

>(ENGINEER) THING NOW SAYS IT'S CLOBBERING TIME.
>(ENGINEER) Thing pacified with application of Hostess™ fruit pies.

Quick question: why does everybody in the Rain World fandom believe that slugcats make “wawawawa” vocalizations? Is this a canon detail that I missed, or did someone else do something that popularized the idea?

So much to discuss . . . and snacks.

Rhythm Doctor’s visual effect functionality is wayyyyy overkill for a rhythm game . . . in a good way.

EMBER TWIN PROJECT CHECKLIST
INDEX OF "EVIL" OVERLORDS

* [%626]: possible visual form generated in handshake scenes; no solid development
* [%374]: no solid development
* [%369]: focus has shifted away; no solid development
* [%953]: visual generation ongoing, no name established 
* [%726]: no solid development
* [%337]: character complete; visual form and name ("Sylvan") established

TODO: get the switch while nobody is looking, fly to Brittle Hollow
and get pictures of the gravity crystals for [%953]'s design