Hey earthlings! This is the official developer update account for Earth Simulator! We provide the update notes here for each version and hotfix.
Contact our team here about any potential bugs, or new features to add to Earth.
(Actually satire, made by @toaks)
Politics and candy have been returned to default values.
The rot comes 30% faster now.
Politics are now 2000% more effective in battle! Americans now have 99% resistance to political damage!
Thanks for 60 followers! All of you will be spared from the first terrible death that is nearest in your future.
Staying up past your bedtime now more rapidly increases exhaustion levels (don't ask why this is posted so late...)
The afterlife now has a brutal difficulty for players who want to 'rip and tear!'
This includes changes such as:
Holy creatures have 50% more health and deal double splash damage. 
Demonic creatures are now immune to fire and poison damage. Holy water is 250% more effective. 
Holy symbols now spawn less frequently.
A secret 10th layer has been added! See if you can find it! 
Also candy has an extremely boosted spawn rate, and has exponentially less effect the more you consume. 
Have fun, Earthlings. Quite a challenge awaits you afterwards.
We've finally added support for 5D shapes in the level editor.
Candy now has an increased spawn rate leading to Halloween. Negative side effects of candy have been temporarily reduced.
New earthdevs merch has dropped! Check our store in the player hub for our year 13,516,361,030 merch drop! This includes new designs for our hats, shirts, and a new line of hoodies*. Plus, check out our player's guide to the universe map, fully up-to-date and annotated with the most useful information you'll need!
*Clothing only suitable for carbon based life forms.
Please don't haunt people after you die! This is an unintended feature and we're looking into getting true death after death. Otherwise, please destroy any ghosts you come across
We apologize for any inconvenience but this is an evolutionary trait and we have no plan to change this in the near future.
Remember, it was your choice to choose human as species. Although you don't get wings, you get to be here, now, seeing a post that almost no other earthly species could comprehend.
Unarmed combat has been tweaked to benefit those with low melee skill points more.
We had to roll back this change because too many unintended casualties were caused. Onions have only slightly boosted stealth in water now.