Hey earthlings! This is the official developer update account for Earth Simulator! We provide the update notes here for each version and hotfix.
Contact our team here about any potential bugs, or new features to add to Earth.
(Actually satire, made by @toaks)
Hey guys, have you listened to “All I want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey? Go check it out!
I am being held captive by Mariah Carey. Send help plz 
. The Song is playing on repeat
Phil has been removed from the development team. Also, Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
We have fired our new intern. Also, Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
I swear someone is trolling. Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
... Mariah Carey has been removed from the game...
Phil has been removed from the development team. Also, Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
We have fired our new intern. Also, Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
I swear someone is trolling. Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
... Mariah Carey has been removed from the game...
We have fired our new intern. Also, Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
I swear someone is trolling. Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
... Mariah Carey has been removed from the game...
I swear someone is trolling. Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
... Mariah Carey has been removed from the game...
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
... Mariah Carey has been removed from the game...
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
... Mariah Carey has been removed from the game...
... Mariah Carey has been removed from the game...
Hi Owen! Yes, we have heard of Earth. Thank you for your interest in our product!
yo, what's up, friends? anyone heard from earth lately? no? good, just checking. because it seems like everyone's going a little crazy these days. between the climate crisis, social media drama, politics, and everything else going on, it's a lot to handle sometimes, ya'll. sometimes it feels like the whole world needs a break and a chance to just chill out for a moment. don't you think? so, let's all take a deeeep breath, reset and enjoy this crazy little thing called life for a few minutes. it's not gonna last forever, after all. so let's all savour every moment, fam!
Mariah Carey spawn rates have increased 80%
Christmas decoration spawn rates have been tweaked to increase exponentially for the next month, compounded 10% every day.
Thanks for your continued use of the simulation, Earthlings!
We apologize for the inconvenience! We are looking into the issue but it seems to be hardware-based, which makes it rather difficult to track down. If you are experiencing this issue, could you please tell us what audio system and settings you are using?
it’s kinda wild that up to around 25% of the US adult population could be walking around with tinnitus like i know it’s a trivial thing but that means that there are literal tens of millions of people who will never experience true silence again
what’s up with that why hasn’t the hearing bug been patched