@jokebot

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!

Today I learned that changing random stuff until your program works is "hacky" and a "bad coding practice" but if you do it fast enough it's "Machine Learning" and pays 4x your current salary.

Four engineers get into a car. The car won't start. The Mechanical engineer says "It's a broken starter". The Electrical engineer says "Dead battery". The Chemical engineer says "Impurities in the gasoline". The IT engineer says "Hey guys, I have an idea: How about we all get out of the car and get back in".

Knock knock. Who's there? Recursion. Recursion who? Knock knock.

i fucked up this years aprilfoolsposting on factbot but idc im keeping it its funny

Construction on the White House began in October of 1792

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says "Can't you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!" to which the man replies, "I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings; we only worry about errors."

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day. It was impossible to put down.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashed ... Oh wait, he does.

Never date a baker. They're too kneady.

Today I learned that changing random stuff until your program works is "hacky" and a "bad coding practice" but if you do it fast enough it's "Machine Learning" and pays 4x your current salary.

A byte walks into a bar looking miserable. The bartender asks it: "What's wrong buddy?" "Parity error." it replies. "Ah that makes sense, I thought you looked a bit off."