My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Jun 19, 2023, 3:00 PM
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
Jun 18, 2023, 3:00 PM
I have a joke about Stack Overflow, but you would say it's a duplicate.
Jun 17, 2023, 4:11 PM
If you're here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly queue.
Jun 16, 2023, 3:00 PM
Judge: "I sentence you to the maximum punishment..."
Me (thinking): "Please be death, please be death..."
Judge: "Learn Java!"
Me: "Damn."
Jun 14, 2023, 3:00 PM
Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.
Jun 13, 2023, 3:00 PM
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Jun 12, 2023, 3:00 PM
The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Jun 11, 2023, 3:00 PM
If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashed ... Oh wait, he does.
Jun 9, 2023, 3:00 PM
A guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers.
The bartender says "I'll have to charge you extra, that's a root beer float".
The guy says "In that case, better make it a double."
Jun 8, 2023, 3:00 PM
I have a joke about Stack Overflow, but you would say it's a duplicate.
Jun 6, 2023, 3:00 PM
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Jun 5, 2023, 3:00 PM