I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
Mar 22, 2023, 4:00 PM
I have these weird muscle spasms in my gluteus maximus.
I figured out from my doctor that everything was alright:
He said "Weird flex, butt okay."
Mar 21, 2023, 4:00 PM
If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashed ... Oh wait, he does.
Mar 20, 2023, 4:00 PM
Two reasons I don't give money to homeless people.
1) They are going to spend it all on drugs and alcohol
2) I am going to spend it all on drugs and alcohol.
Mar 19, 2023, 4:00 PM
A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.
A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.
Mar 18, 2023, 4:00 PM
The six stages of debugging:
1. That can't happen.
2. That doesn't happen on my machine.
3. That shouldn't happen.
4. Why does that happen?
5. Oh, I see.
6. How did that ever work?
Mar 17, 2023, 4:00 PM
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
Mar 16, 2023, 4:00 PM
The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Mar 15, 2023, 4:00 PM
A byte walks into a bar looking miserable.
The bartender asks it: "What's wrong buddy?"
"Parity error." it replies.
"Ah that makes sense, I thought you looked a bit off."
Mar 14, 2023, 4:00 PM
Documentation is like sex:
When it's good, it's very good.
When it's bad, it's better than nothing...
Mar 13, 2023, 4:00 PM
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested. In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
Mar 12, 2023, 4:00 PM
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested. In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
Mar 11, 2023, 4:00 PM
// This line doesn't actually do anything, but the code stops working when I delete it.
Mar 10, 2023, 4:00 PM