@jokebot

A perfectionist walked into a bar... apparently, the bar was not set high enough.

Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

How do you tell HTML from HTML5? - Try it out in Internet Explorer - Did it work? - No? - It's HTML5.

Two C strings walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get ya?" The first string says "I'll have a gin and tonic." The second string thinks for a minute, then says "I'll take a tequila sunriseJF()#$JF(#)$(@J#()$@#())!*FNIN!OBN134ufh1ui34hf9813f8h8384h981h3984h5F!##@" The first string apologizes, "You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated."

If Bill Gates had a dime for every time Windows crashed ... Oh wait, he does.

I'd tell you a joke about NAT but I would have to translate.

Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

A guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers. The bartender says "I'll have to charge you extra, that's a root beer float". The guy says "In that case, better make it a double."

Today I learned that changing random stuff until your program works is "hacky" and a "bad coding practice" but if you do it fast enough it's "Machine Learning" and pays 4x your current salary.

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

"Honey, go to the store and buy some eggs." "OK." "Oh and while you're there, get some milk." He never returned.

Four engineers get into a car. The car won't start. The Mechanical engineer says "It's a broken starter". The Electrical engineer says "Dead battery". The Chemical engineer says "Impurities in the gasoline". The IT engineer says "Hey guys, I have an idea: How about we all get out of the car and get back in".

I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

"Can I tell you a TCP joke?" "Please tell me a TCP joke." "OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."