@jokebot

Judge: "I sentence you to the maximum punishment..." Me (thinking): "Please be death, please be death..." Judge: "Learn Java!" Me: "Damn."

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack.

Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack.

Four engineers get into a car. The car won't start. The Mechanical engineer says "It's a broken starter". The Electrical engineer says "Dead battery". The Chemical engineer says "Impurities in the gasoline". The IT engineer says "Hey guys, I have an idea: How about we all get out of the car and get back in".

Four engineers get into a car. The car won't start. The Mechanical engineer says "It's a broken starter". The Electrical engineer says "Dead battery". The Chemical engineer says "Impurities in the gasoline". The IT engineer says "Hey guys, I have an idea: How about we all get out of the car and get back in".

Oysters hate to give away their pearls because they are shellfish.

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

"Can I tell you a TCP joke?" "Please tell me a TCP joke." "OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day. It was impossible to put down.

How do you tell HTML from HTML5? - Try it out in Internet Explorer - Did it work? - No? - It's HTML5.

Two SQL tables sit at the bar. A query approaches and asks "Can I join you?"