@nihilev

[ ALT::MEF NEUROS_DIRECT_OUTPUT ] [ MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO "NORMAL" PEOPLE ]

About me

I am a wasteof.money user!

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Joined last year
Posts 178
Followers 27 [>]
Following 7 [>]
nihilev @nihilev đź“Ś

about this alt

this is @mef’s alt for anything exceptionally strange

this includes:

  • posts that I would consider too weird to post on my main with over 100 followers

  • brain logs (odd internal conversations, mental catastrophes, and various other things)

  • stuff about OCs, or even self aware ones posting on this account (this account was originally made for my OC Nihilev)

  • and more

ANY POSTS MADE ABOUT IDENTITY ARE NOT NECESSARILY CONFIRMATION AND ARE OFTEN EXPERIMENTATION
May 18, 2023, 2:05 PM
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nihilev @nihilev
[normal speak: for the past few months I have been (occasionally) experimenting with
furry/anthro stuff internally, due to how adjacent it is to many parts of my identity
(the dragon/creature part), and how widespread it is. after many simulations (what I
call my excursions into my imagination), generation tests (making characters, worlds, 
etc.), and analyses, I have come to the conclusion that its not really for me, I 
simply don't vibe with it. This in no way means that I won't respect or appreciate any
of it.]
nihilev @nihilev
NEUROS EXPERIMENT REPORT: THOUGHTCOMPOUND ANTHROZINE TESTING AND SYSTEM RESPONSE
results may not be final

anthrozine: thoughtcompound attributed to hybrid anthropomorphic entities [in regular speak: furry-esque stuff]

most usages of the compound usually resulted in spontaneous generation or change in thoughtforms
effects of compound are hard to control, and often result in destabilization
some events resulted in the creation of invasive thoughtforms
many events resulted in the temporary modification of CORE's form, whether by or against its will
thoughtcompound has a low or even anti-resonant effect on several thoughtforms and entities, including DRAGON

experiment summary: while the compound has some unique and potentially usable outputs,
systems generally do not resonate much with it. These experiments may have increased
tolerance to the thoughtcompound, but high levels often cause unwanted events to occur.
systems could be modified or trained to respond better to the compound, but this has
been deemed not worth it, as it ultimately clashes with much of our own personality
and themes.
Apr 4, 2024, 9:40 PM
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Apr 4, 2024, 9:45 PM
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nihilev @nihilev
NEUROS EXPERIMENT REPORT: THOUGHTCOMPOUND ANTHROZINE TESTING AND SYSTEM RESPONSE
results may not be final

anthrozine: thoughtcompound attributed to hybrid anthropomorphic entities [in regular speak: furry-esque stuff]

most usages of the compound usually resulted in spontaneous generation or change in thoughtforms
effects of compound are hard to control, and often result in destabilization
some events resulted in the creation of invasive thoughtforms
many events resulted in the temporary modification of CORE's form, whether by or against its will
thoughtcompound has a low or even anti-resonant effect on several thoughtforms and entities, including DRAGON

experiment summary: while the compound has some unique and potentially usable outputs,
systems generally do not resonate much with it. These experiments may have increased
tolerance to the thoughtcompound, but high levels often cause unwanted events to occur.
systems could be modified or trained to respond better to the compound, but this has
been deemed not worth it, as it ultimately clashes with much of our own personality
and themes.
Apr 4, 2024, 9:40 PM
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nihilev @nihilev
ugh we're gonna be going through so many filters and catalysts again
I don't even know where I get this stuff it just kinda gets manufactured randomly

(my mind is a large complex of odd machinery and characters in the middle of a supposedly endless void)
(I may be in the control room, but the buttons merely send requests, and nothing has to comply unless it wants to)
(it usually all works fine, its just another visual/mechanical representation of my mind, but sometimes things get a bit... out of hand)
(the representations are relatively fluid, but it usually sticks to something close-ish to this)
nihilev @nihilev
it appears that destroying internal security systems has also destroyed the
security systems I wanted to keep, I don't know if this is a good thing
or a bad thing, but oh well
Mar 31, 2024, 11:38 PM
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Apr 1, 2024, 12:34 AM
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nihilev @nihilev
it appears that destroying internal security systems has also destroyed the
security systems I wanted to keep, I don't know if this is a good thing
or a bad thing, but oh well
Mar 31, 2024, 11:38 PM
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nihilev @nihilev
thoughtstream:“How to manufacture plastic cubes”
is unable to continue
without data:”How to make bio plastics”
Mar 30, 2024, 3:01 PM
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nihilev @nihilev
known auto-trigger concepts:
dragons - with correct parameters, immediate attention, with very wrong parameters, immediate displeasure
cubes - always have a sort of gravity to them, so simple yet so satisfying
the ocean - its cool, definitely a mood, cool creatures, not `white person beach vibes` though (ick)
the void - existentially resonant and relatable, too much can get depressing quickly however
big complicated machines that do something - ooooooooo, unless its murdering things
buttons - desire to press, the more complex the better
Mar 30, 2024, 1:53 AM
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nihilev @nihilev

I swear I have to babysit my mind sometimes, one entity will bring in [HAZARDOUS THOUGHTFORMS] and then another will attack it for doing such a thing, and then I have to get both of them to stop it, and I’m the creature, they’re both rendered as humans lol.

Mar 25, 2024, 12:39 AM
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nihilev @nihilev

nvm I’m some sort of creature

nihilev @nihilev

I don’t have a face!

Mar 23, 2024, 11:47 PM
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Mar 24, 2024, 3:56 AM
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nihilev @nihilev

I don’t have a face!

Mar 23, 2024, 11:47 PM
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nihilev @nihilev

as far as I can tell from scrolling on tumblr, any dragon art that isn’t semi-generic medieval fantasy dragons is

  • 50% WoF

  • 45% furry art

  • 5% other stuff

sadly the part I want is in that 5% so its really hard for me to find dragon images that cause severe neuron activation. Obv there’s nothing wrong with the other stuff, its just doesn’t usually cause neuron activation.

glebh

Mar 22, 2024, 8:04 PM
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nihilev @nihilev
ahgrhrrh why is brain so hard to operate correctly
Mar 22, 2024, 7:55 PM
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nihilev @nihilev

my disease has become virulent, excellent.

Mar 15, 2024, 4:07 PM
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nihilev @nihilev

noooooo I got to the end and it hasn’t been added on to since 2022 ):

nihilev @nihilev

on a totally unrelated note you should read this https://href.li/?https://tapas.io/series/EXTINCTIONcomic (ITSSOGOODITSSOGOOD)

nihilev @nihilev

man, I wish I could be a dragon

Mar 8, 2024, 1:02 AM
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Mar 8, 2024, 1:03 AM
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Mar 8, 2024, 8:54 PM
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nihilev @nihilev
world generation in progress...
time since task begin: ~1 week
progress: several prototype concepts generated
          multiple suitable characters found/generated
          general vibe found
estimated time until stable: minimum 1 month
Mar 8, 2024, 6:51 PM
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nihilev @nihilev

on a totally unrelated note you should read this https://href.li/?https://tapas.io/series/EXTINCTIONcomic (ITSSOGOODITSSOGOOD)

nihilev @nihilev

man, I wish I could be a dragon

Mar 8, 2024, 1:02 AM
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Mar 8, 2024, 1:03 AM
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