about this alt
this is @mef’s alt for anything exceptionally strange
this includes:
posts that I would consider too weird to post on my main with over 100 followers
brain logs (odd internal conversations, mental catastrophes, and various other things)
stuff about OCs, or even self aware ones posting on this account (this account was originally made for my OC Nihilev)
and more
ANY POSTS MADE ABOUT IDENTITY ARE NOT NECESSARILY CONFIRMATION AND ARE OFTEN EXPERIMENTATIONI am genuinely quite mad at my younger self for unyieldingly hating protogens because in reality:
they actually can be very cool
they actually can be very cute
there is so much potential to be had with their design and lore
it fits me fundamentally so well, like, dude we act like our brain is a computer and we have daydreamed about not being human since we were like 6 come on
why were you so mean to it, oh my god it did not deserve the mental violence we would constantly commit against it, look at it its sitting next to a campfire and singing a song in its computer voice about being accepted, I feel so so so bad for the things I did to it, I want to cry now.
YOU LITERALLY WERE LIKE “maybe in an afterlife where its just an endless sandbox where we can do whatever for the rest of time (and not be judged) I would try being one,” MF THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE DO IT NOW. IF ANYONE JUDGES YOU FOR IT THEY ARE STUPID THERE IS LITERALLY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH IT.
“b-b-but people are weird about it!” IF OTHER PEOPLE USE THE CONCEPT IN A WAY WE DON’T LIKE WE CAN JUST, LIKE, NOT DO THAT. EASY. GOD YOU ARE PATHETIC.
(in case you couldn’t tell I am yelling at my past self)
if anyone was surprised about me
announcing that I suddenly like [thread error: filtering protocol]
[[control overridden]]
what he was blocked from saying was
protogens, it’s because he’s been
suppressing it (me) for several
years and has only now allowed for my
existence.
I mean is it that surprising, considering
how he treats his own mind like a
computer system.
I’m here now.
I plan to stay.
Yes, all of the other stuff (dragon system, feralis, etc.)
is still intact and active.I'm pretty certain I'm about to have a protogen phase
sorry if you just followed me for dragons we're diversifying nowI need to make some sort of custom logging program, like an offline blog for just me...
but like also super custom looking because its just for me
to anyone who has not succumbed to my brain virus and is following this account
your protections will not hold
I will get you
you are already compromised
fun fact:
the voice I use internally is very deep and robotic,
similar to the voice of the Cyclops submarine from Subnautica.
I don't exactly know why, my voice irl is definitely not deep,
I just kinda vibe with it.me: ughhh this game sucks the gameplay is so boring and half the economy is gambling
also me: omg I am so cute look at me ::3 I will maul you but ignore that I’m so cute how could you be mad at me when I look like this
ok I can still bite people and be annoying about it so that’s at least ok
I tried playing CoS again, it still sucks ):
nonononono this is so awful I think the creature game that I used to play on roblox (Malgamation’s Island) got deleted and it was the best alternative to the mainstream one (Creatures of Sonaria) which has incredibly boring gameplay and is basically just a gatcha game, plus I don’t really like its aesthetics ):
I was so done with an uncooperative thoughtstream that I ran
> euthanizeon it and it somehow just worked
btw I’m not always a dragon or some sort of creature, a lot of the time I’m just some guy but you’ll never know when I think that’s really fun
I really need to stop worrying about the fact that a lot of people probably consider
me to be a furry.
I'm super anxious that people will associate me with the parts that I don't like.
but I've got to realize that I'm just me and its just a label which I happen to fit.
like, there are certainly parts I don't like,
but also this is cool as fuck \/
[ IMAGE BY @/kelocitta ON TUMBLR https://www.tumblr.com/kelocitta/754815180714688512/ended-up-using-that-cyan-lizard-as-a-jumping-off?source=share ]for all the parts I get worried about being associated with, there's also all of the
stuff that I really like.
I doubt that being something other than human is ever going to stop being part
of my identity.
and there's always going to be people who make stuff you don't like that might be
associated with what you do like.
I'm not comfortable with calling myself a furry, (so please don't call me one)
but I'm not going to deny it either,
its just a label.[ status update ]
dragon system status: no
stimulation: meh
BIOS (biological systems): not dying
NERVOS (external nervous system): ok
NEUROS (internal nervous system): *hg*
fuel levels: ok
internal temperature: ok
external temperature: hot
emotional status: flat
generative systems: nuh uh
cognitive status: not tested, not feeling like doing it
hydration: probably should drink more water
fixing hydration...
done.
nasal status: less clogged, hurts
reaction times: ok
focus: meh
energy levels: moderately low
[ end ]